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How Social Isolation Strikes Down The Best Of Us

By crooky | July 31, 2008

As a self-employed consultant, I can honestly say that I suffer from social isolation. The definition of social isolation is roughly a lack of deep, meaningful relationships. Many consultants (and non-consultants) suffer from this problem and recent studies have shown that social isolation can shorten your life just as surely as smoking or alcohol abuse.

My own circumstance is not unusual. I work from home the majority of the time. I’m married and I have children which means that I have a deep, meaningful relationship with three people. That’s not enough though because as any stay-at-home mom will tell you, everyone needs friends outside of their spouse and children. I have good friends that live in town but I don’t get to see them nearly often enough in the kind of environment where we can strengthen our bond with once another. Why? Because I’m always working.

It’s easy to fall into social isolation without realizing it. Before I started working for myself, I had strong relationships with a number of people. I saw people after work, I even formed strong bonds with a number of my co-workers. When you leave the 9-5 life that most people exist in, it’s hard to maintain relationships. You work evenings and weekends, they relax and hang out with friends on their evenings and weekends.

You have time to hang out with people but its often only at the last minute that you realize you have time and when you do have free time, it’s not usually at times that works for your friends (eg. in the middle of the work day or late at night).

Unfortunately, social isolation is self-compounding. As you become socially isolated, you develop tendancies that make you less likely to want to socialize. For example, many people suffering from social isolation develop health problems and vices that makes their already low self-esteem worse. This causes them to go out and socialize less, making them even more socially isolated, and so on.

These unhealthy, self re-inforcing habits have a huge impact on your health. Social isolation has been linked to heart disease, mental illness, morbid obesity and increased risk of diabetes. From a consultant’s point of view, your health is a crucial asset in your business. If you get social isolation ruin your health, your business will suffer.

I don’t feel like social media platforms (Facebook, Twitter, etc…) decrease social isolation. The “relationships” you maintain with others on the Internet aren’t real. I recently withdrew from an online community that I feel supplanted many real-life relationships and worsened my social isolation. Social media is to relationships what CDs are to being in a band.

Let me be clear - social isolation can kill someone just as surely as a major drug habit. If you feel like your life revolves around your work and you don’t have any friends or hobbies, it’s time to get some help. Depression, weight gain, unhealthy lifestyle choices - these are all symptoms of social isolation.

The Plan Institute is an organization whose mandate is to reduce social isolation. I suggest that if you feel you need help, start by contacting the people at the Plan Institute. They have some programs that could help. The first step to beating social isolation is to recognize that you have a problem and reach out to the people who care about you.

Edit (Aug 7 08): There are other organizations like the Plan Institute around. Check out the Plan Institute’s list of affiliates (link).

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Aaron “Crooky” Cruikshank is the Principal and Founder of Friuch Consulting. He has written professionally about science and technology for over ten years.

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Topics: social issues |

4 Responses to “How Social Isolation Strikes Down The Best Of Us”

  1. Keri Says:
    August 1st, 2008 at 7:08 am

    “I recently withdrew from an online community that I feel supplanted many real-life relationships and worsened my social isolation.”

    Did you notice that your stress level went down afterwards? I did. I’m a much happier person these days, without worrying what ‘people on teh internets’ think of me.

    I believe that it’s a knee-jerk lizard brain reaction, though - Humans are trained to care what others think, because that is a factor of survival in civilized society.

    IMHO, misplaced importance on people who have no real impact on your life might be more dangerous for ones well-being than social isolation, and the internet is NOT a replacement for socializing face to face.

    Is there anything like The Plan Institute for ‘Murkins?

  2. Aaron Cruikshank Says:
    August 1st, 2008 at 8:27 am

    Thanks for your comment Keri,

    My stress level definitely went down after I stopped worrying what these people I was never going to meet thought about me.

    I’ve looked into a Plan Institute equivalent in the US and haven’t been able to find anything. Market opportunity, methinks.

  3. Aaron Cruikshank Says:
    August 4th, 2008 at 4:39 pm

    I heard from my friend Brian at the PLAN Institute this weekend. He offered up the following link for organizations associated with PLAN in the US and other parts of Canada:

    http://www.planinstitute.ca/?q=node/13

  4. George Says:
    August 16th, 2008 at 8:06 pm

    Very interesting stuff, Crooky. I think I might be doing the same thing as you.

    VT

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